Yes! I haven't written a single post since February! Scary but true. Apathy is a strange bed fellow, as is depression. In fact, the two work hand in hand and create a lethargy that is very difficult to break. Recognizing these symptoms is the first step towards rejoining the world. It has been such an upside down world this past year. The interesting part of it all is that the more complacent you are the bigger shock a catastrophe is to your world. Being a positive outgoing person has saved me in many ways. So, I am not going to moan about my life. I am not here to whine, I have a bed to sleep in, plenty to eat and I am able to work. Those are things that so many of us take for granted. As I sit and watch luxury cars and tricked out trucks drive by I wonder if the driver has the same worries that I do? My best friends tell me I over think everything. They tell me to just be. But I can't help it! There have to be other thinkers out there. People who look at the world and see questions that need to answered. Do I know the answers, unfortunately not. But it would be great to sit and talk to other thinkers and have discussion. Too many people are wrapped up in what is happening on the television that they are missing the chance to interact with people. The only way to open up and become friends with people is to actually have face to face conversations and engage them. The invention of social media has put me in touch with so many people from the past. But are any of these folks people that I can develop meaningful relationships with in the present? Not really, I call them my periphery friends. They can't drop in for a cup of coffee. We can't sit and sip a drink and talk, eat at a nice restaurant, go to a museum or take a hike in the woods because the distance between us is too great. Right now my greatest pleasures come from sitting and having coffee with my Friday friends, having a drink with my happy hour friends, and my daily workouts. Sweating and struggling next to my 515AM friends forges a different type of friendship. We don't have time for conversation, but we do build a bond through getting through the WOD day after day and cheering each other on. So, I am sitting yet again pondering what is next in my life. I know you can't make a concrete plan because of the unexpected events that send your world crashing around you. I wish I could go back 5 years ago and set different wheels in motion, make different choices and plans. BUT I can't go back, can't change the past. Not only can I not do that, it would make me a totally different person. And good or bad I like the person that I am today.
